Browse Jerry Seinfeld quotes and sayings.
What fun is life if I’m not making jokes all the time? It’s a torture […]
Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before […]
Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one […]
I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything which as you […]
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are […]
I am freaking out! I am freaking out. Jerry Seinfeld
I had 10,000 things that I like doing on the show itself, and certainly among […]
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? Jerry Seinfeld
You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s […]
I’ve been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It’s just […]
Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that […]
I’m old, I’m rich, and I’m tired. Jerry Seinfeld
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little […]
That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. Jerry […]
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the […]
I wonder if illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup? Jerry Seinfeld
You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem […]
If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. […]
This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you […]
The biggest laugh has to come at the end. Jerry Seinfeld
Men don’t care what’s on tv. They only care what else is on tv. Jerry […]
A two year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have […]
Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music […]
Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman’s exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up […]
Find the torture you’re comfortable with and you’ll do well. Jerry Seinfeld
Pain is knowledge rushing in to fill a gap. Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason. Jerry Seinfeld
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. Jerry Seinfeld
To me, if life boils down to one thing, it’s movement. To live is to […]
You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That’s how you know you’re still alive. Jerry […]