Browse Dave Barry quotes, sayings and more; plus view the Quote of the Day, read biographies and take our author quizzes!
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. […]
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make men stupid. […]
Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain. Dave Barry
User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot. Dave Barry
Childbirth, as a strictly physical phenomenon, is comparable to driving a United Parcel truck through […]
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what […]
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, […]
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to […]
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a […]
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of […]
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. Dave […]
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count […]
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Dave Barry