Joke Quotes, Joke One-Liners, Joke Sayings, Joke Memes, Joke Statuses and Joke Tweets!
I think when people watch a lot of artists, they’re expecting this showiness, and I’m […]
If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my […]
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Steven Wright
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip […]
I’m callin’ you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some […]
Two old maids on a beach, streaker ran past, one had a stroke, the other […]
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a […]
When God sneezed, I didn’t know what to say. Henny Youngman
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later […]
If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. […]
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction. Bob […]
You cannot be a powerful and life-changing presence to some people without being a joke […]
I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything which as you […]
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy […]
A man’s main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ […]
I’ve led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that […]
My friends tell me that I have a tendency to point out problems without offering […]
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of […]
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the […]
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has […]
You know those guys who say ‘danger is my middle name?’ I bet if you […]
The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is […]
Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help. Andy Borowitz
Thank you, Stockings, for being a long flammable piece of fabric people like to hang […]
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on […]
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. […]
I think most politicians could take a dodgeball in the face. Ben Stiller
This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I’m coming to join ya, honey! […]
Well I have a microphone and you don’t so you will listen to every damn […]
Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I’m able to tell […]
I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good […]
There are few sources of energy so powerful as a procrastinating college student. Paul Graham
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. Jackie Mason
If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber’s calf, he […]
The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on […]
Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys.. we’d […]
I would like to give these kids a good home. In fact, there’s one a […]
If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else. Yogi […]
Whenever I’m stuck in traffic, I can’t help but wonder, ‘Where did the creator of […]